A Christmas Story
Lessons in Hope from a Blue Jean Jacket Debacle
I should have known better with the theatrical release of A Christmas Story two years prior in 1983. But I was eleven and in fifth grade. I had begun the very slow transition from every gift being Star Wars everything to setting my sights on a Levi’s blue jean jacket. Maybe it was seeing Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future or Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club, but I knew I needed a cool upgrade if I wanted to be noticed by the school girls.
While this entire post significantly dates me, I should note that I probably ripped the page out of the Sears catalog, circled the jean jacket with my blue Bic ink pen, and put it in an envelope for Santa— or maybe just my parents to discover. Like Ralphie dreaming about a Red Ryder BB Gun, I lay in bed imagining how my life would change once I went to school for the first time wearing my new jacket. Who would be cooler than me? Should they put me in the next Back to the Future movie instead of Michael J. Fox? Life was about to be different for me because of that jacket. I just knew it.
But then Christmas Eve happened, and I still wonder how parents could wreck the hopes and dreams of a kid for twelve long hours. How extended family— and likely Santa himself— could be insiders to such an insidious plan. I opened my gifts at my grandparent’s house and received all the usual grandparent gifts. No surprises. I didn’t expect the jacket until Christmas morning anyway. But then, my cousin who is two weeks older than me, opened his gifts. To my shock, my dismay, my utter devastation, the last gift he ripped apart revealed MY JEAN JACKET. Not another type of jean jacket— THE JEAN JACKET I had circled in the Sears catalog.
I had been slighted. I had been betrayed. Had my grandparents not been given the right information? Had someone lost my envelope with its very specific instructions? I watched my cousin smile with elation while I sat nauseously, putting my hands through my hair, believing that even the Christ-child was crying in his manger for my misfortune.
I suppose waking my parents at 4 am on Christmas Day was my form of retribution. Whether I believed I was getting that jean jacket or not, I still had some Star Wars characters to open up. I can’t remember if it was the first or last gift I opened, but when I tore the wrapping paper of that box and saw that jacket, I cried in crusty-eyed elation. All my hopes and dreams had come true. I would finally be the coolest kid on the block. I may have even put it on and gone back to bed.
To this day, we laugh at this story. It’s even funnier with the photos. But as I replay that memory and look at the pictures, I can’t help but think how relevant that story is for us now. We all have hopes, dreams, and aspirations about how we see our lives. We imagine life being one way, but often feels out of reach— or worse, spiraling out of control. In our darkest moments, we feel like all is lost. We can’t see any other reality than the devastation we are in.
That is the place where our hearts break. Where we want to give up. Where we sit with our heads in our hands, seemingly overcome in defeat.
Of course, what you may be going through is far more serious than not getting a jean jacket. But the principle is the same. In the dark of night, it is impossible to imagine the light ever breaking. It is difficult to believe your life ever being different, or your circumstances ever changing. It is hard to visualize a reality in which your pain subsides and transforms you— making you a stronger, more resilient, and filled with greater wisdom and perspective.
But listen, the light eventually breaks. And when it does, we often find that the waiting, the disappointment, and the heartbreak were not the end of our story, but the beginning of something greater than we could have ever imagined. That is my hope and my hope for each of you this Christmas.
Question
When have I faced moments of disappointment or darkness, and how might those experiences have shaped me into a stronger, more hopeful, and resilient person?
Peace,
Brandon
Deep Calls to Deep: Meditations for Your Spiritual Journey, Vol. 1 is now available! For signed copies, please call Viewpoint Books at 812-376-0778 or visit their website. Deep Calls to Deep is also available everywhere online (Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc.)
