Before I Die
From the time I walked into a shoe store’s bathroom two years ago to this morning, sitting at the dining room table to write this, I have spent more hours contemplating this picture than almost any other picture I have ever seen. Granted, it’s just a photo of the side of a building with three simple words, “Before I Die.” However, the interactive nature of the word mural allows those passing by the opportunity to complete the sentence.
That is what first caught my attention. Scrawled in chalk, people finished the thought with bucket list items, revolutionary aspirations, comedic attempts, and significant life milestones such as getting married or having a baby. So many people from different places in life, expressing the one meaningful thing they want to do or experience before they die. Maybe no one put much thought into it other than what was at the top of my mind. Or that they wrote some words to make their friends laugh. But in the bottom right corner, one humble offering stood out to me- find true happiness. This particular aspiration stood out to me for a few reasons, but primarily for its inclusion of the word true. The author seems to be distinguishing between transient and fleeting happiness versus a deeper, more profound, and lasting happiness that we all seek.
I remember taking a final exam in philosophy at Hanover College. The professor instructed us to, and this is crazy: write a question and answer it. Talk about a daunting test. First, you must have a great question and then know enough from the semester to answer it. At eighteen years old, my question was: What constitutes true happiness in one’s life? I know you are dying to know how I answered it. The truth is that I don’t remember, but I did get a rare A on this exam. I remember that I drew a circle representing wholeness and talked about various elements that come together to make us more whole or less whole. And maybe that is what the last two and a half years of these weekly writings, a series of personal reflections and philosophical musings, have been- writing about areas of our lives that can ultimately make us more whole and truly happy before we die.
In these reflections, I’ve explored the depths of our inner selves, the wounds we carry, and the transformative power of Divine Love. From the chaos of daily life to the profound moments of stillness, each weekly meditation has been an attempt to reconnect with the core of living a fulfilled and meaningful life. Whether learning to forgive, embracing vulnerability, or finding joy in the mundane, these writings have been a journey toward understanding that true happiness is not a destination but a continuous process of growth and self-discovery. It’s about cultivating a compassionate heart, nurturing our souls, and embracing the wonder and beauty of life in all its forms. As I sit here today, reflecting on this journey, I realize that we find true happiness in the small, intentional acts of love, kindness, and presence that make us more whole and connect us to the Divine and each other.
Question
What does true happiness mean to me, and how can I integrate this understanding into my everyday actions and choices?
Peace,
Brandon
When I was younger, I believed that life was making other people happy. As I grew into myself, it became obvious that I was doing it basackwards. I reached a point of literal “Do or die.” It changed me, practically, on a molecular level. My true happiness has been found in learning to love and accept myself, but also to allow myself to be loved. I wish I’d had the foresight back then to experience the wonder of my life, but gratefully, I live now in my joy.