Living With the Enemy

When Love Becomes Our Center, Hearts May Be Transformed

There was a television series I watched several years ago by Morgan Spurlock called 30 Days. The premise was to take two radically different people from ideological extremes (Christian/Atheist, Pro-life/Pro-Choice, etc.) and have them live together for a month. 

On the surface, the show appeared to be more shock television than anything else, but there was a beautifully hidden genius in what subsequently transpired in each episode.

I remember one episode vividly. A patriotic, anti-immigration Minuteman vigilante, who volunteered to keep illegal immigrants from coming into the country, stayed with a Mexican family living illegally in the United States.

As you can imagine, each was initially fearful of the other. Each had preconceived ideas about the other constructed by their past experiences and their own biases and stereotypes. Their initial conversations were like ours today, hostile and argumentative. 

But as the days went on, they began to see each other differently. 

They knew what they ought to believe about each other based on the national narrative and what is on paper. However, through continued conversations and eating together at the table, they began to hear each other's stories. They slowly changed their perceptions of the other. They discovered the other’s hopes and dreams. They began to see each other as human beings navigating the complexities of life as well as they knew how. Whether they would have characterized their experience this way or not, they began to see the Divine Image in the other.

In one of the most poignant moments at the end of the show, the Minuteman, nearly in tears, said to the family:

What I’ve learned the most here was to understand and receive your point of view directly from you. Because you can read a book, but a book doesn’t laugh. A book doesn't cry. A book doesn’t have memories. A book isn't a human being. But your circumstances and everything that has happened here is a precious opportunity that has been given to me.

Knowing someone more deeply than the stereotype or the caricature is risky. Having a conversation or a meal with the “enemy” may put you at odds with your own “tribe.” Being vulnerable enough to listen and hear another's perspective may take sacrifice on your part. You may still not agree with their perspective in the end. But when love is allowed to become our center, it is the ground upon which understanding can flourish and hearts may change.

Challenge

1. Think of one person who is different from you, either in their background, ethnicity, or religious/ideological/political views. Within the next 30 days ask them to coffee or a meal. Make it your goal to not debate but learn about their background, perspective, and their hope and dreams.

Peace,

Brandon