The Center of Inattention

Empathy is More Than a Feeling. It Requires Action.

Some of my most formative experiences happened when I was 25-years old.

Last week I shared the story about getting verbally assaulted by one of my advertising accounts and how those dehumanizing words wounded me. While working at the same job, and likely within months of that encounter, my boss asked me to go to a Chamber of Commerce cookout in a neighboring county. She believed this would be a good way to make contacts and increase business. 

Well it is… if extroversion is your thing.

Unfortunately, it isn't my thing, as an introvert. Being an introverted salesperson is like being a snow leopard. You know they exist, but you very rarely see one in the wild. But for the record, I am in my 25th year of sales. So introverts CAN sell. We just do it differently.

But I digress.

I showed up at the Chamber of Commerce cookout and stood by a chair at an empty table. Being that I did not know anyone, I hoped beyond hope someone would talk to me. No one did. To make it worse, this was before smartphones and social media. I couldn't even pretend to be chatting with someone on my phone. I stood alone like a stooge with people talking and laughing all around me. 

When the buffet line opened, I made sure I was the first in line. I didn't only want to be doing something else other than standing alone. I wanted to sit down at a table first so that people would be forced sit at my table when others filled up. But I also figured that the table most likely to fill up first was the one directly in the center. That was where I sat.

Person after person went through the line, each finding a seat at a surrounding table. One by one, the tables around me filled up. Not only was I the lone person at my table, but I had finished eating and sat like a lonely imbecile for the next hour. 

It was my worst nightmare.

I always wondered why someone didn't notice I was by myself and invite me to their table. Was it not obvious to the 150 people sitting around me that I had no one at all, that I was awkwardly, painfully alone? Because if someone had invited me to their table, I can assure you that I would have jumped at the opportunity.

Question

1. Empathy is not just a feeling. Many times, it requires action. Think of a time when you had empathy for another person but did not act on it. What was your hesitation? How might you overcome that fear or obstacle in the future?

Peace,

Brandon