Traveling 580 miles is quite a commitment for someone I’d only met online and briefly in person during a layover in DC. But Cary drove her black, cute-as-a-button Mini Cooper from Chevy Chase, Maryland, to Columbus, Indiana, to spend time with me and my closest friends.
First, some background.
Cary Umhau is the co-founder and director of Breadcoin, an organization with a mission of bringing communities together around a table. Rather than offering “handouts,” Breadcoin uses a token system for individuals in need, allowing them to exchange tokens for food at participating local restaurants, food trucks, and grocery stores. It’s a system that grants dignity while supporting local businesses.
Brilliant.
For a few days in August 2017, Cary joined our group to help us process the death of our friend’s 17-year-old son, Abbott Garn. Abbott had died in an accident that February, leaving us numb and directionless. To navigate our grief, we invited different people each week to share wisdom and guidance when we gathered. I want to tell you more about that experience at some point, but for now, I’d like to tell you about Cary and one of the activities she led us through.
I met Cary in 2012 when she requested a copy of my first book that I was giving away for free on Twitter. At the time, she was writing her memoir, Burning Down the Fireproof Hotel, and launching Spacious, an organization fostering community and connection among people who might not typically cross paths. One of her most popular ideas through Spacious was a concept called “flash tables.” She thought it would be amazing for us to try it in Columbus.
The idea was simple: show up at a busy place that needed a little love and a little pie.
We chose a residential neighborhood with a playground, covered the tables with tablecloths, and brought out a few homemade pies (and a few store-bought pies), served on real plates with silverware and cloth napkins. At first, kids rode their bikes over. Then, they brought their friends. Soon, adults followed. What transpired was a beautiful moment—not of us serving others, but of sitting together, sharing pie, and talking with people we’d never met before. It was a time filled with laughs and smiles, even more so for those who took the remaining pies home.
Cary’s visit showed us how simple acts of presence, kindness, and creativity can transform how we connect. As I reflect on that day in August, I’m reminded that, while isolation and loneliness often feel pervasive in our culture, we each have the power to meet people where they’re at—sometimes with nothing more than a slice of pie and a shared conversation. Cary’s example encourages us to look beyond ourselves and create spaces for connection and healing. We can be the change that reshapes our disconnected world, shifting the trajectory away from the isolation and loneliness so many are experiencing.
Question
How can you bring more connection and kindness into your own neighborhood or community, and what simple acts can you take to bridge the gaps of isolation and loneliness around you?
Peace,
Brandon