The Road Less Taken

A Tale of Ego and Wisdom

Jenny and I picked up Will from basketball a couple of weeks ago. The school is downtown, a little less than four miles from our house. I was driving.

Now, before I go any further with this story...

Some context: I have not worked in my hometown for 23 years, and I have only lived here for twenty-five years. My mental map of the city is not as detailed and robust as those who live and work here. Even more, and this is more of a confession, I regularly use Google Maps to find my way around if I am driving to a place I do not usually frequent. I know my spots, I know my limited routes, and that's about it.

Which means my passengers frequently ask why I take certain routes from point A to point B. Let me say that again. Which means my wife and kids frequently ask why I take certain routes from point A to point B. By myself, I mindlessly trek to my destinations without thinking twice. But with passengers who know the routes, side streets, and shortcuts better than me, I am the recipient of route suggestions.

On that particular day, I took a left on Central Avenue rather than a right. You don't have to know anything about Central Avenue or how it factors into the not-so-complicated matrix of me getting home to know that my choice was politely questioned.

"Why do you go left on Central?"

"Because it takes me to 17th and over to our neighborhood."

"It's faster to go right and take 10th," Will said. "Right, Mom?"

Will is twelve.

"Yes, 10th Street is faster, honey." Jenny didn't say "honey," but it feels like it ought to be in this anecdote.

"Dad, Mom said Tenth Street is faster."

"That's what I heard," I said but wondered how to save face with a sixth grader who will not be driving for a few more years. "It's about the same amount of time, I think."

Murphy's Law.

Five longer-than-what-should-be-expected red lights later, I conceded. "I think 10th Street is probably faster."

I have reflected on this a few times since it happened. I thought about our habits and routines, the things we mindlessly go about without a second thought. But then, I thought about those around us who have greater wisdom and knowledge, those who have more experience navigating than we do. How do we receive their insights and perspective? Do we pridefully continue the old routes? Do we self-preserve and insist we are right in our wrongness? Do we fortify the walls around our egos or take on a posture of humility to learn and grow?

We will only realize our best selves if we are able to humble ourselves and hear from those whom we love and trust.

Question

1. In what areas of my life am I resistant to the advice and insights of those who know better, and how can I cultivate more humility and openness to learn and grow from their wisdom?

Peace,

Brandon