Gesticulations, Shenanigans, and the Micro-Offended

An Attempt at Recovering Respect and Dignity in How We Relate to One Another

My wife went to the grocery store the other day. Like many people these days, she preordered and was doing a curbside pick-up. I know what you’re thinking based on my story last week- these people sure have a lot of issues when they do pick-ups. I promise we do not intentionally try to cause issues! 

Anyway, Jenny pulled into the parking lot and got in one of the car lines. In her rearview mirror, she saw an irate lady in her car, yelling and gesticulating. Gesticulating is a fun word. Unbeknownst to my wife, the other lady was parked in an actual parking spot waiting for one of the pick-up spots to open up.

Simple mistake.

Realizing her oversight, Jenny attempted to let the lady know she made a mistake. But the shenanigans continued. Another fun word- shenanigans. Instead of trying to explain her error, she just backed out and let the other customer go ahead.

But man. We are on the edge these days, aren’t we? And I’m not saying that in a humorous way. I am saying it as a really sad indictment. It’s no wonder there are so many people attacking and killing each other for the most inconsequential things. Our incidental actions (even our mistakes) have become life-or-death issues. We are ready to come unglued at the slightest inconvenience or micro-offense (yes, I just used micro to describe an offense, I hope it didn’t micro-offend you). If there is such a thing as the death of patience and kindness, I think we’re almost there.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. And I would really like to resuscitate kindness rather than plan a funeral. I would rather draw attention to the problem and seek solutions rather than watch us continue this downward spiral. And, I would rather actively and intentionally practice it in my life rather than just exist as an impulsive ball of anger ready to explode at the slightest micro-offense. Sorry, I had to.

I got a call yesterday while doing some administrative work. The caller ID showed the number coming from Hollywood, California. I never pick up numbers I don’t recognize. However, in the last month, I randomly met two people with Hollywood connections who wanted a copy of my first novel. I knew the call was not likely to be the call, but I had to pick it up, right?

So I did.

And of course it was a self-publishing company trying to get me to spend money with them to publish a book. I thought about the death of patience and kindness. I thought about the person on the other side of the call. She was just doing her job…and cold-calling is a tough job. I decided to listen to her pitch even though I wasn’t interested. I told her that she had a tough job and I appreciated her. I could tell by her tone that she was glad I treated her with dignity and respect.

I don’t know. Maybe that’s what it’s all about. Maybe there’s more to life than rushing through it to get to the next thing or our intermittent explosive disorders or being micro-offended about everything. Maybe, just maybe, there’s more to it all. 

Practice

1. Pay attention to your body this week. When you have the impulse to respond out of frustration and anger, notice it before responding. The first step is being aware.

Peace,

Brandon