Infinite Me Infinite You

Every Age Invites Us to Begin Again and Again

And then sometimes you get caught off guard.

Which I was this past week.

We received a package, and I opened it. Inside was a wire-bound display book entitled 52 Modern Manners for Today’s Teens.

My immediate thought was—What a perfect idea for helping us shape our 14-year-old son into a well-mannered young man.

Opening it to the first insight, I set it up in the most visually obtrusive spot in our house—the countertop in the middle of our kitchen and dining room—so he’d see it every time he walked past.

But then, a few hours later, we sat down for dinner and Jenny told me to bring it to the table.

“Read it,” she said, hoping we could go through it together and discuss it while we ate.

I cleared my throat.

I’m not sure I actually cleared my throat, but it feels like the right way to begin describing how this went.

“Introduce yourself,” I read. “If you find yourself with people you don’t know, introduce yourself.”¹

It continued with several additional sentences and some perspective on the next page.

I finished reading all of it—and realized it wasn’t only for Will.

It was for me, too.

Ugh.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m introverted. If you perceive me as anything other than that, it’s only because I have to try really hard to be otherwise. Admittedly, I don’t enjoy being in social settings unless it’s a small group of people I already know. I loathe small talk and will purposefully avoid people. All that to say—introducing myself to a stranger isn’t exactly in my social arsenal.

But this first prompt really hit me.

Despite having lived into the self-fulfilling prophecies of Myers-Briggs (INFJ) my whole life, I wondered what’s really keeping me from growing and evolving. What’s keeping me from introducing myself to strangers other than me? It’s true that the older we get, the less likely we are to change—old dogs, new tricks—but why does that have to be the case? Why should these prompts be only for teens? Why can’t I push beyond my discomfort and continue to grow into someone more dynamic?

The truth is, the only thing that keeps us from transforming from who we believe we are into the person we aspire to be is our belief that we can’t change. And that is perpetually true for each of us. We are the ones who ultimately decide when we are done challenging ourselves and growing as a human being. Unfortunately, many stay stagnant and unchanged for years, even decades.

I wonder—what is life if it isn’t a life-long pursuit of becoming? Of daily taking off the old and putting on the new? Of avoiding the gravitational pull of a static life to pursue the quiet and sacred work of transformation, even if it costs us some discomfort.

Reaching a certain age (no matter how young or old) isn’t a period at the end of the sentence. It’s an ellipsis—always opening us to infinite possibilities for what we might yet do, and who we’re still becoming. If we are willing…

Question

Who might you become if you stopped believing you’ve already arrived?

Peace,

Brandon

1. Brooke Romney, 52 Modern Manners for Today’s Teen (self-published, 2022).

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