To Forgive a Murderer
How Forgiveness Has the Potential to Heal People
I was a junior in high school when a devastating and horrific crime rocked my hometown of Madison, Indiana.
In 1992, four teenage girls (three of whom I went to school with) tortured and murdered a twelve-year-old girl named Shanda Sharer.
It is by far the most heinous and gruesome event I have ever been close to, and there is no way to fully capture how traumatic it was for everyone involved and for our small community. Despite attending the trial and following what I believed was every detail at the time, I recently attempted to listen to a podcast about the murder but had to turn it off. The monstrous details were far beyond what I thought I knew or could handle. It was heartbreaking.
In interviews with Shanda's mother, Jacque Vaught, her eyes were always red and swollen. She looked perpetually broken. As a parent, I don't know how she kept going each day.
About a decade ago, one of our family friends, whose family has a service dog, told me that the "ringleader" of Shanda's murder was working as a service dog trainer while serving her sentence. Melinda Loveless had become known as one of the best trainers in the Indiana Canine Assistance Network (ICAN) Program at the Indiana Women's Prison.
Intrigued, I began researching and landed on a story by journalist, Anne Ryder, that I never expected to read.
One of the breeders that supplies dogs to the program became friends with Shanda's mother, Jacque. The breeder told her about Loveless. However, Jacque never wanted contact with any of her daughter's killers. In fact, she said about Loveless, "If you want to see as close to a person that has absolutely nothing inside of them, look into Melinda's eyes cause there's nothing there."1
However, taking the advice of the breeder, Jacque agreed to watch a video of Melinda working with the dogs.
Twenty years after her daughter's murder, what she saw in Melinda moved her.
"I was really taken aback," said Jacque. "I saw someone who was almost reborn. Melinda was someone who had learned to nurture something."
Defying all human logic and conventional wisdom, Jacque did something extraordinary. She donated a puppy to the program in Shanda's honor and let Melinda train it.
"[Jacque] helped me to heal, forgive and grow, whether she wanted that or not," Loveless said through tears, "She did a good thing. And I would thank her. I couldn't thank her enough. Angel (the puppy) is in good hands. And I'm doing it for Shanda."
Question
If you have been wounded by another person, how might forgiveness help in the healing process?
Peace,
Brandon
Ryder, Anne, WTHR. Shanda Sharer's Mother and Murderer Form Unlikely Alliance. May 12, 2012. https://www.wave3.com/story/18573121/shanda-sharers-mother-and-murderer-form-unlikely-alliance/.